Today it has been near impossible to distinguish between my emotions. I have been both up and down at the same time. Right now I simply feel numb. A little bit lonely aswell but that is to be expected now that I'm living alone! Just wish I could make sense of my head. I don't want to do anything but at the same time I want to get everything done. Where am I? Why am I struggling to cope with my own mind right now?
I wish someone was here to help me. But nobody seems to want to know when it comes down to how I'm actually feeling. It's all about the other person when I see someone and when they ask about me I lie because I can tell it'd make them uncomfortable if I said what was really on my mind. Nowadays people either just want to be around me because I'm in their wank bank and they are trying to seek out a rub or they just want to vent to me and ask me for my advice. Of course I don't mind helping people out and I don't mind giving advice and i sure as hell dont mind people thinking of me as attractive but I guess sometimes it'd be nice to actually sit down with someone and talk about what goes on in my mind. Not your everyday problem in which you can seek advice. Just be able to say at least half the things I write and have someone there to listen and even give me some input. I'm not saying I just want to vent about myself, but more I'd like to be on a relative level of conversation with someone and not feel as if I'm making them uncomfortable.
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